either of which, the truth is.. it hurts still.
have you ever experienced comforting someone but at the end, he/she does not recognize it? it feels so bad right?!
a friend of mine once told me this... be careful with your choice of words since it is permanent and you can never take it back.
now i realise that, let the person dwell on his/her sorrows and perhaps, when he/she needs a shoulder to cry on then that is the time you will hold his/her hand and say something nice. but other than that, let it go....